Topaz Says: The “Male G-Spot”…. Our friend the prostate gland!

Many men avoid any type of anal play on themselves because “it’s gay”.  Those of you who are past that adolescent thinking and homophobic BS are about to delve into the wonderful world of the “male g-spot”. 

 

 

As we did with the article on the female g-spot, the first order of business is to locate the little gem.  The prostate is located a few inches inside the anus on the side of the abdominal wall and it's about the shape and size of a walnut.  It is much easier to find the prostate gland if you are already aroused since it naturally enlarges when you are turned on.

 

 

It’s a bit more difficult for men to use their own fingers to find their prostate as it is for women to use their fingers to find their g-spot because of the location of the anus.   Luckily this problem has been resolved by the invention of a variety of different types of prostate stimulators/massagers.  What’s a prostate massager?  Take a look here…

 

  Sample ImageSample Image Sample Image      

 

If you click on the photo you will get more detailed information about the prostate massager.

 

If you are going to use your finger to explore your anus, you must be sure to thoroughly wash your hand and clip your nails-making sure there are no rough edges.  This is a very sensitive area of the body.  You don't want to injure yourself.  If you have a partner helping you with the hunt, be sure they too are properly prepared.  You should also consult a doctor if you suspect any medical reason you should not play Maury the Explorer with your hineyhole.  

 

Remember, lube is your friend, especially when playing in the back yard so be sure to get a good water soluble lubricant.

 

OK so here's the plan...

 

1) Wash your hands, clip your nails, file as needed.
2) Begin by touching and massaging the outside of the anus.  Feel free to use the flat part (pad) of your finger, pressing in but not entering the anus in a circular motion.

3) Get the lube out once you are comfortable touching the outside of the anus and put it on your finger(s).

4) Place your finger back on the anus, take a deep breath in and upon the exhale, push your fingertip into the anus. You will have felt and moved past the first sphincter muscle.

5) Once you are past the first sphincterr muscle, repeat the breathing exercise and push gently through the second sphincter muscle.

6) Take some time to get used to the sensation of having been penetrated.

7) Once you are ready, reach in about 2 inches on the abdominal side of the anus and make a motion like you are saying "come here" or "come hither".  You do not want to make a straight line thrust.  You can experiment with the "come hither" motion as well as circular motions or a back and forth motion on the prostate.  Be sure to keep the finger in that bent "come hither" position.

 

Important: If you have any prostate infections or disorders, do not massage the prostate without speaking to your doctor.

 

We would love to hear about your prostate massage/stimulation experience via email!  Our email address is This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it

 
sExpert Corner

sExpert Corner*

SassyScribe and Robert Deveau

 

 

 

SassyScribe

 

 

Pleasing Your Man
 
Where to begin...there is nothing better than pleasing the one that are with...right?
 
I can remember a time when women didn't even want to admit that they performed oral sex on a man/men, but nowadays it's a whole new game.  Women are exalting in their new found power of persuasion and seduction...they are revelling in their control of making him lose his mind for a few hot seconds.
 
But in recent conversations with men, I am told that not all women truly know how to give a good blow job.  Men will tell you that no teeth are needed, and please keep conversation to a minimum.
 
There are several techniques in the art of fellatio...I am just going to touch on a few
 
Positions
Ladies, lay the man on his back and climb between his legs.  This is the "king of the mountain" position.  That will grant you access to his entire body
 
Kneelingsitting is great also...the sensation is more intense and allows for deep throating.
 
Doggy style;he is on all fours and you get behind him.  This is a great position if you enjoy "rimming".
 
69-enough said...gives both of you pleasure at once.
 
Tea bagging or throat swab-ladies lie upside down on the bed and he straddles your face.  This can also be reversed.
 
Senses
 
Using your five senses of smell, touch, taste, sight, and hearing-are integral aspects of fellatio.
 
Before one engages in this most intimate of acts, you must first see the penis, inspect it for any bumps, bruises scars etc.  Needless to say, if it looks like that I wouldn't suck it.
 
Touch him, gently place his penis within your hands to get the feel of his size.  Is the surface smooth, veiny, etc.
 
Smell-a part of hygiene.  Hair carries odor so hopefully he trims/cuts the hair around his penis.  If not, suggest it.
 
Taste-Slowly place the penis in your mouth as you move your tongue in a circular fashion.  Not all men are the same.  Some want more attention to the head of the penis while others want mouth, tongue, and hands all working in tandem to bring him to release, additionally we must not forget to give much love to the boys (nee balls) gently, slowly...we will touch on swallowing in another blog entry (((smile))).
 
Hearing-finally, you have to listen to his moans and groans to get an understanding of what he likes and what he doesn't like.  How are you making him feel as he feeds you his essence?
 
Now I know this list isn't exaustive and all inclusive and I am sure that I missed something.  It's just a few tips that women should know
 
SassyScribe
 

 

(click on the author's name to read her bio) 

 

 

 

 

 

Robert Deveau

 

Lasting Longer In Bed - Understanding The Problem
 
If we want to understand how to last longer, first we need to understand why we have that problem in the first place.  The problem proably stems from when we were young men, just discovering our sexuality.  When we first touched ourselves, it felt good.  Then we were told that touching ourselves was bad.  As a result, when we discovered masturbation, we learned to do it quickly and get it over with before our mothers and fathers caught us.
 
Experts believe that we carry these subconscious fears into adulthood.  Once we realize that this is just leftover anxiety from childhood, we should have no probem learning how to make intercourse last longer and be the meaningful, pleasurable experience that it is meant to be.
 
The first thing is to slow down, even stop sometimes.  Let the woman take control.  Often with the female on top, she can control thrusting and allow the male to rest and enjoy the experience (not to mention the view!).  We need to learn to take pleasure in her pleasure, ours will come in its due time.  If the male can resist thrusting while the female is on top, this can add much more time to the experience.
 
Once you reach the point where you can no longer resist, then at least do it slowly.  Again, this will add not only a great deal of time to the sexual experience but immeasurable pleasure as well.
 
Whatever you do, please remember, the average is only about SEVEN MINUTES.  This knowledge alone should help to take the pressure off.  Hopefully, taking the pressure off will allow you to enjoy the experience and last longer.
 
(click the author's name to read his bio)

 

 
 
BlogSexy Archive: Topaz Says: Finding the G-Spot

Some will argue that it doesn't exist...that it hangs out with the Loch Ness monster.  I am here to tell you that the G spot absolutely DOES exist and I'll help you flesh yours out, so to speak.  First a little biology lesson...

 

During conception, the sperm determines the sex of the embryo.  If it's an X sperm, the embryo is female.  If it's a Y sperm, the embryo is male.  The genitals are undifferentiated.  If Androgen is released, the embryo develops into a male, if there is no androgen, the fetus develops into a female. The X or Y chromosome determine whether or not the androgen is released.  What does this have to do with the G-spot?  I'm getting there...   Many experts believe that in the undifferentiated genitalia exists material that will either become the prostate gland, in the case of the male (which we can not deny exists) or it becomes the G-spot, in the case of the female.  Here is a biologically based argument for the existence of the G-spot so lets go find it, shall we?

 

Here we go... First I'm going to have you prove to yourself that you have a G-spot.  For the partners reading this, hold off helping your sexy lady find her G-spot.  This is a solo experiment for now-you can join in later.  Grab an appropriately shaped toy to facilitate the location of the G-spot.  I suggest one shaped like this:

 

 

Sample Image Sample Image Sample Image    
(click the photos to find out more about these (not so) little beauties!) 

 

 

 

Urinate before and after you play with toys or have sex.  It lowers the likelihood of bladder infections from bacteria getting into your urethra and finding it's way to your bladder.  This is just a good general practice. 

 

Find a comfortable, private location where you will not be disturbed (e.g. go into the bedroom and lock the door while no one is home).  Lie on your back and prop yourself up with some pillows.  First insert one or two fingers so that they are touching the top of the vaginal wall (as if you were sticking your fingers in your vagina and trying to touch your navel).  For more clarity, look at the diagram at the bottom of this posting. 

 

Feel around a few inches inside for an area of skin that might feel a bit different (maybe a bit spongy).  It can also change texture size during different phases of excitement.  Use different pressures and different movements (circular motion vs. back and forth etc).  If you put pressure on the spot you might feel like you have to urinate-that feeling will likely pass though.  Feel around for a bit- don't get discouraged if the skin doesn't feel any different...We'll be bringing in the big guns next... 

 

Now, grab your toy and some lube (if needed...).  If you just use the dildo as you normally would, you wont know for sure if you are having a clitoral orgasm or a G-spot orgasm.  Here's the trick. With one hand get ready with the dildo.  With the other hand, at the top of the labia majora, separate the lips so that they are not able to rub on the clitoris.  Many times during sex we have clitoral orgasms by the indirect rubbing/pulling of the skin around the clitoris which stimulates the clit and causes the orgasm.  We want that area to stay stationary.  

 

Once you have secured the clitoral area, take the dildo and insert it (about 2 inches but every woman is different) in the vagina with the bend directed at the front wall of the vagina as described above. Rub gently, using your creativity (and fantasizing if you like) but be sure to keep that clitoral area stationary.  Do not force anything-take your time and enjoy every thrust.  If you have an orgasm without the clitoral area being stimulated, guess what??  You just had a G-spot orgasm.  If you do not orgasm, don't be discouraged-it might take a few tries.  Finish yourself off clitorally if needed.  Once you are done with your self-pleasuring,  pee, wash and dry your toys and have a nice day!

 

Keep some mental notes as to the depth, angle, texture, etc... you will need to communicate this information to your partner so they can play "Find The G-spot" too!  One of the most important parts of your sex life is communicating your needs.  Do NOT be shy and for goddess sake, do not fake an orgasm.  You'll never have the hot sex life you want if you don't communicate your wants and needs to your partner.

 

 

 


 

 

Sample Image

 


 (borrowed from: http://majalahdewadewi.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/gspot.jpg)

 

 

 

 

 

* Our sExperts are not medical professionals.  The information herein is food for thought.   It is not meant to address any medical, psychological or any other illness or condition.  This is a great place to listen to the thoughts and opinions of others.  We are not responsible for what you do with this information.  If you have any questions about any of the information on this site, consult your physician!

 

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